


A letter to my younger self

by GhostofaPigeon



Series: A letter to my younger self [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Everyone lives, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, IT Chapter Two Fix-It, M/M, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Reddie, Stanley Uris Lives, Time Travel Fix-It, benverly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:00:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22875148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostofaPigeon/pseuds/GhostofaPigeon
Summary: A 9 chapter series that shows the Adult Losers on the anniversary of the day they made the oath. It's all fun and games until a certain red balloon makes an appearance and the Losers are faced with am even greater challenge than any of them ever expected. The risk are higher as the meet their past selves and desperately try to change their pasts but if they fail then their futures will be worse than they were before. Each chapter after the introduction will consist of a Loser talking to their younger self trying to help them deal with their trauma in a struggle to help them win this time.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Series: A letter to my younger self [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644355
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. One more time

"This meeting of the Losers Club has officially begun!" Richie shouted as he entered the quiant little restaurant. 

Bill, Mike, Ben, and Beverly dropped their conversation to look at him. 

"Are you going to say that everytime we meet up?" Asked a voice from behind Richie. 

He turned around to see Stanley and Eddie, both with crossed arms and annoyed expressions. 

"Well look, the party's finally here" Richie grinned as he walked over to his seat at the table. 

"Let's hope this diner doesn't end like last time, I'd really hate to be kicked out because someone-" Stanley scowled as he looked over at Richie "didn't learn what an inside voice was in kindergarten"

Richie scoffed "Eddie was shouting too-"

"I was shouting because you insisted that in the middle of a zombie apocolypse the best place to hide would be Walmart when it would clearly be Costco!" Eddie interjected, talking at a rapid speed. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. Just because you think Costco has more supplies it doesn't mean they have more food-"

"Please don't start this again" Beverly laughed as she looked between the two. 

Ben nodded in agreement, draping his arm across Beverly's shoulders. 

It had been almost a year since the Losers defeated Pennywise. No one had died, as it turns out The Doctors had managed to save Stanley and he was doing better than ever. He would be leaving in a few weeks to go on a long over due vacation with his wife, Patty. As for Eddie, Richie saw his death in the deadlights. That was something even now Richie wasn't comfortable talking about. Richie had gotten enough sense to move Eddie just a bit to the right before the claw came down on him. He was rushed to the hospital and again, the Doctors saved him. 

"So, how's Jabba the Hutt doing?" Richie asked as he leaned back in his seat. 

Mike laughed silently, earning a glare from Eddie before he looked over at Richie. "Don't call her that, dickwad" 

Richie raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, whatever." 

Bill cleared his throat, trying to get the attention of everyone at the table. "Okay, let's get to the reason we're here"

"Other than our monthly check up to make sure we all remember our traumatic and fucked up lives?" Richie interjected. 

"Beep beep Richie" Beverly snickered 

"Don't you guys remember? Today was the day we first battled made our oath."

"So you called us all here for a morbid anniversary?" 

"Richie, can you shut the fuck up?" Stanley complained 

"Anything for you Stan the Man" Richie winked 

Bill shook his head before continuing. "It's more than a morbid anniversary. It's like a...a celebration. We can finally say that we defeated Pennywise" 

"So is this like a surprise celebration party or something? Is that why we got a private room?" Ben asked 

Mike looked suprised yet a little disappointed.

Bill just laughed. "You ruined the surprise but yeah, it's a party"

Richie immediately stood up "Hell yeah! Bring on the drinks" 

"Are there going to be balloons?" Stanley asked 

"Hell no, we made sure there would be any balloons" Mike answered 

\- - - - 

The party had gone great. Everyone had at least a few drinks although Eddie and Stan only had a few, insisting that they wanted to drive back to their hotel safely.

Richie had more drinks than he would care to admit. Apperently he was just going to call an Uber no matter how many drinks he had so why not make the most of it. 

Beverly and Ben took turned sipping on a wine bottle, Richie showed disappointment and claimed that only couples from cheesy rom come drank wine together. 

Mike and Bill only had a few drinks but still enough to feel a little buzz. They both had work in the morning and didn't want to go into work with a hangover.

The conversation kept going and the laughter in the room free with every joke. 

Ben was the first to spot it. He wasn't sure if it was the wine or just an illusion but he wanted to be sure. "Hey, I thought you guys said there wouldn't be balloons" 

All conversation came to a halt as Bill looked in the same direction as Ben. 

"We d-didn't" Bill stuttured for the first time in a while as dread washed over him. 

By the door to the private room a red balloon floated closer to the table, a card tied to the end of the string. 

Eddie shot up from his seat, immiedietly getting as far away from it as he could and Ben wrapped his arms protectively around Beverly. 

"We must be drunk. We've got to be. We killed the fucker" Richie said as he looked between the balloon and his friends. 

Mike stood up, visibly shaking as he walked towards the balloon. 

"M-mikey" Bill warned as he kept a close eye on his friend. 

Mike turned to look at Bill with a sad smile on his face before reaching out to take the card tied to the balloon. He carefully untied it from the string and watched the balloon float over to the center of the table. 

He looked down at the card and skimmed over the writing scrawled in red ink. 

"One more time. Win and you rewrite your fates, lose and you all change yours." Mike read before looking back at the others who were staring intensely wat the balloon" 

"What the fuck is that supposed to mea-" Richie started to ask before he was interrupted by a very loud pop, one loud enough to leave a ringing in their ears. 

All the Losers closed their eyes from the shock and covered their ears from the constant ringing. 

Bill was the first to open his eyes and what he saw wasn't the restaurant. 

\- - -

"But we killed it. How did this happen? How did we get here? Why are we here? What is the point of this? Are we going to get out of here? CAN we get out of here?" Eddie paced back and forth along the floor of the cavern asking a million questions per minute. 

Beverly and Ben clung onto eachother, sitting with their backs against the wall of the cavern

Richie was running his hands through his hair, a self-conscious move that meant he was stressed. 

"Guys!" Bill shouted. He had gone looking around to see if there was any way to escape and by the tone of his voice he seemed to have found something. 

The group hurried from where they were settled and followed the sound of Bill's voice until they found him. Except he wasn't alone. A group of kids, seven highschoolers, were standing opposite to the Losers. Some of them seemed scared and others tried to keep their composure. 

There was on kid, a little taller than the rest, who stood in front of all of them and Mike was the first to make the connection. "William Denbrough" he muttered and in reaction the kid backed away only a few steps. "W-who are you p-p-people" The boy said. 

Bill looked at Mike, confusion and fear on his face. "M-mikey, what's g-going on"

"Wow, that guys got your stutter and the guy has Mike's name. Do you think the clown is fucking with us?" A kid asked from the middle of the group. He was medium height and scrawny with coke bottle frames that took up most of his face. 

"I think this is what Pennywise meant by rewriting our fates. I think he sent us to the past." Mike said 

"They know about Pennywise too, maybe they could help us" commented a quiet kid from the back. His face was bleeding and his whole body was trembling. 

Bill felt empathy for the boy as he looked back at Stanley and saw the scars from flute lady's attack. He looked back at the boy before smiling empathetically. "W-w-we aren't going to hurt you. We j-just want to help" he said as he raised his hands in surrender.

The boy in the front of the group or what was assumed to be Young Bill didn't give in easily, not convinced this wasn't another trick but who could blame him. 

Suddenly a clown like laughter erupted and bounced off the walls. "Time to float!" The voice beamed. 

As if a light switch had been pulled the cavern went dark and all that was heard was the distressed sounds the Losers, both old and young, kept making. Motion was felt amongst the groups, as if they were on a treadmill but weren't moving their legs and then everything was still.


	2. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Story: Told through Richie's POV. Based on the song "The Story" by Conan Gray, Richie deals with acceptance and denial of who he really is. Can he change that or will he be stuck in this limbo forever?

The lights turned on and Richie could see again but he wished he couldn't. Instead of being met with the gray and bleak cavern he saw a colorful setting with several arcade games humming with electricity and illuminated as if to lure a moth to the flame. 

Richie looked around and noticed the roor. He ran over to it, despretly pushing the door and trying to escape. "Shit" he murmured as he closed his eyes and sighed. 

"I already tried that. There's no way out" said a voice from somewhere in the room. 

Richie opened his eyes and turned around to see the scrawny boy from earlier sitting on the ground with his head leaning against the wall of the arcade. 

"It's you" Richie said 

"Wow, what an astute observation" the boy replied sarcastically. 

Richie rolled his eyes, ignoring the boy. "So I guess we're stuck here huh?" 

"I guss so, at least until that clown kills us" 

"He's already tried twice, i'd like to see him try again" Richie said before looking around. The arcade used to be a comfort place for him, one of the few places he felt safe but even when he looked at the boy he used to be he knew that's not what this place meant anymore. It was like a chest someone found in an attic, enticing and intriguing but on the inside dark secrets and long forgotten memories. 

"Why this place?" He barely heard the kid whisper under his breath. 

Richie looked at him empathetically and hesitated before smiling. "Hey kid, come on." He said before walking down the corridor that sepererated the arcade from the theater. 

The kid looked around before getting up and running after him. He adjusted his glasses so they weren't hanging off the bridge of his nose. "So, the future huh?"

"So you heard?" Richie asked as he continued walking, his hands in his pockets. 

"Yeah. I'm guessing your me?" 

Richie grinned "I know, it's hard to believe that a man so-"

"Old and wrinkly" Younger Richie interrupted. "I must have had a downgrade. How are we ever supposed to hook up with the ladies?"

Richie glared playfully at the kid before smirking. "I don't think ladies are going to be a problem"

Younger Richie's face immiedietly flushed as he looked away. "No, way. We have to hook up with a bunch of girls there is no way-" 

"Kid, you don't have to lie to me. I'm literally you from the future, I know everything about you"

"E-evrything?" The kid asked

Richie knew exactly what he was referring to. "Well, how about I tell you a story."

This seemed to shut the kid up and he looked up at Richie, clearly interested in what he had to say. 

"It's about a boy....and a girl" Richie started. 

"I knew it! We are straig-" 

"If you keep interrupting me then I'm not gonna tell you" 

Younger Richie crossed his arms but stayed quiet. 

"It's kinda short and kinda boring but I promise the end is a whirl" He continued. "They were barely teens when the people were mean so they didn't love themselves so they moved on."

"But they're okay now aren't they? Bev and Ben are okay now?" Younger Richie asked, clearly catching on to the story. 

Richie ignored this, continuing on with his story. "And when I was younger, around your age, I knew-" he hesitated for a moment "I knew a boy and a boy"

This seemed to get a reaction from the kid. He stopped in his tracks and shook his head. "I know what you're gonna say but it isn't like that!" 

"They were best friends with eachother but they always wished they were more-"

"Stop it! Stop it stop it stop it! You don't know what you're talking about!" 

"They both loved one another but never discovered because they were too afraid of what they'd say!" Richie said

The kid looked suprised. He quickly started walking again, following Richie with interest. "What do you mean they BOTH loved eachother? Are you messing with me? What happened to them?" 

"Maybe if you stopped asking so many questions and just listened I could tell you!" He said before signing "But I can tell you what happened to them....they moved to different states" 

"What??? No, that can't be how it ends." Younger Richie objected. 

Richie shrugged "I'm sorry, kid. That's just the way the world works. It's definitely not funny and it's not pretty and it sure as hell ain't sweet but that's how the world works-"

Richie was interrupted by muffled sobs. He looked over at the kids and noticed he was covering his face with his Hawaiian shirt. 

"Hey hey hey, kid it's okay. This world, it's messed up and cruel but I think it could work out for you and me, just wait and see." 

The kid looked up at Richie, sniffling quietly as he wiped his eyes. "R-really?" He asked 

Richie smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be sure of it. I'll make it the best life we've ever lived but you have to help out too." 

"W-what can I do?" 

"Be proud. Be proud of who you are and not matter what don't let anyone make you feel bad for who you love." Richie said as he kneeled in front of the kid to take off his glasses and clean them. 

"But this town they hate p-people like us" 

Richie scoffed before placing the glasses on the kids face. "Screw them. They obviously don't know what real love feels like or they wouldn't give a damn."

Suddenly a sound came from one of the games. It was the type of sound you would hear when you were playing Street fighter and you won a battle. This instantly caught the interest of both of the boys as they walked over to the game. 

The screen was dark at first but after a few seconds it came to life. The screen read "Be proud" and a noise was heard from the machine like the clank of metal on metal. 

A key came from the disperse of the machine and The Younger Richie went to pick it up. "Great, a key. What are we supposed to do with this?"

"Gee, and to think you're the one with the only brain cell between us" Richie said as he took the key from the kid. He walked over to the door before placing it in the lock and turning it gently. 

Richie pushed the door open and behind it was the familiar gloom of the cave. He signaled for the kid to follow him as he walked through the door. 

"Hey, Richie" the kid called as they walked into the cavern

"Yeah, what is it?" 

"I'll tell him if you tell him" 

Richie smiled. He thought about it for a minute before nodding. "Alright, sure. But if we want to tell them anything we have to figure out where the hell they are"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. This chapter was put out quicker than most of you probably expected but I agree written this chapter prior to the first one and I couldn't wait to release it. Next Chapter is called "The Moral of the story" can you guess which Loser is next?


	3. Moral of the Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from our favorite hypochondriac's point of view as he tries to break down his relationship to a younger version of him and why they aren't really sick. Based on the song "Moral of the Story"

Eddie blinked, the sudden rush of light stinging his eyes as he looked around. 

"Alright Richie, stop messing with the lightswitch" Eddie yelled.

His eyes began to focus and he looked around only to find that Richie wasn't there. "What the-"

He recognized the room. It was small with a bed made neatly in the corner and a dresser with a box of pills, categorized into every day of the week. 

It was his old room and like he did as a kid, he felt the suffocating wrath of his mother and the walls felt like they were closing in on him. He ran to the door, pulling and tugging on the knob before he heard footsteps on the other side of the door

"Oh shit" he mumbled. 

"Hello?" A voice called out from the other side of the door. 

It didn't sound like his mother. It sounded younger and a little higher. "Who's there?" Eddie called from his side of the door. 

Everything was silent until the doorknob began to rattle again. Eddie backed away from the door, frantically searching the room for anything that might barricade the door from whatever was behind it. 

He turned back around when the rattling came to a halt and only then did he speak again. "I don't know who you are-" he tried to speak but he felt like he was on the verge of an asthma attack. 

Eddie patted his pockets for an inhaler that he knew deep down that he didn't need but a phantom habit kicked down his defenses and as if from out of know where he felt the inhaler in his front pocket. 

Reluctantly, he pulled it out. Examining it as if it would turn to mist in his hands. 

"So we still need that thing, huh?" 

Eddie quickly looked at the door. 

It was open now and in the doorway stood a kid. He was quiet short but Eddie knew that looks can be deceiving. 

"Wha- Oh! No! No, no, no. We don't. It's just-uh- it just appeared" Eddie stammered, quickly shoving the thing back in his pocket. "How did you- how did you open the door?" He asked

The little boy shrugged "Dunno, it just opened. Is that our room?" 

Eddie nodded "Yeah, I guess so." He pointed to the other side of the door. 

"What's over there?" 

"I don't really know. It's a house but I don't recognize it" 

Eddie peered into the other room and his heart dropped for the second time that day. 

The room was organized as well. A fireplace with candles and little ceramics next to a white sofa with pillows neatly put on either side. Pictures adorned the walls, most of them with a man Eddie knew as a part of himself but couldn't see when he looked in the mirror. 

"It's my house" 

"We live there??? Why do we have so many pictures of Mommy still?" 

"That's-" Eddie let out an annoyed sigh "That's not our Mom, that's our wife" 

The little boy gaped at Eddie for a moment before bursting out laughing. "We must have serious problems if we thought that was a good idea. I mean seriously, she looks just like Mommy, what the hell were you thinking?"

"Why is it just me now? We're the same person? "

"You did that shit on your own, I had no part in that!" The little boy argued 

Eddie crossed his arms. "You're literally me, whatever mistake I make has something to do with you-"

"Do we hit our head or something? That's the only way to explain why you commit physiological incest" 

"She's not our Mom!" 

The kid went quiet after that exclimation. He looked at the ground. 

"Listen, I didn't mean to yell it's just...You know how we get" 

"Did we- Did we really marry her?" The kid asked quietly 

Eddie was confused. He and the kid had already walked into the house and as Eddie was looking around he picked up one of the pictures on the wall. It was of him and Myra, they were smiling in front of a beautiful display of flowers but he knew the story behind the photo. 

He and Myra had yelled for hours about the effect the pollen would have on him. Eddie swore he was fine but Myra scolded him, saying be would get sick.

"What do you mean? Myra, well yeah she was-"

"No, I meant did we not get together with-"

"Oh..."

The little boy shook his head. "How could we ever fall in love with someone else? Does that mean that I am just diseased? Mommy was right about me being sick?" He asked as he started hyperventilating. 

Eddie knew from the way the kid was breathing that he was having an asthma attack and as much as he wanted to give the kid the inhaler he knew that wouldn't do him any good. 

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay" Eddie cooed as he ran over to the kid and kneeled down so they were at eye level which actually wasn't that hard, he probably didn't even need to kneel. 

"No, it's not. Mommy was right, we shouldn't have left her!" 

Eddie couldn't help but chuckle at the kids remarks which caused the boy to seem frustrated. 

"Why- why are you laughing?" 

"I guess I never did really get to know you. God, I really tried to" 

The kid sniffed, glaring ahead of him. "What are you going on about now?" 

"I was blind sighted by their concern, addicted to their meds" 

"N-no, they were right. We were wr-"

Eddie shook his head. "Trust me, we can really do this. We need to do this is we want to be....cured" he knew that he wasn't diseased to begin with. That his love wasn't wrong but he also knew that there was only one way to get the stubborn punk to listen to him. 

Eddie was right. He seemed to get the boys attention who quickly looked at him with interest and hope. 

"The woman we are married to, we didn't really love her. We never did-"

"Then why are we still with her?" 

"We aren't. Myra and I got divorced about two months ago. We're still going through the paper work but legally we aren't bound to her anymore" 

The kid seemed shocked yet again. "Why did we marry her in the first place?" 

This was a question Eddie himself didn't quiet know the answer to but he tried to answer the best he could. "Some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes....sometimes mistakes get made-"

"Mistakes???"

"Hey hey hey, it's alright. That's okay. You can think that you're in love when you're really just in pain" 

The younger boy sniffed. "Really?" He asked

Eddie nodded "Yeah! It's okay to think you're in love with someone when that's not really what's going on. We were confused and young but now we aren't, we don't have to worry about being sick anymore because the people who tell us we're sick are the actual people who need medical help" 

A sound interrupted the moment. It came from Eddie's old room. They both looked at eachother for a moment before going to check out what was going on. 

"Hey, was the window always open?" Younger Eddie asked 

"I don't think so, or else I would have left sooner. Well, come on. I think it's our way out of here" Eddie said, he had started walking over to the window before he felt a little tug on his arm. He turned around to see the kid looking sad. "What's wrong?" 

"Are you and Richie ever going to end up together?" The kid asked 

"Maybe, it depends on if I ever find the courage to tell him, why?" 

The boy looked down at the floor, like he was almost embarrassed. "Well, if you two don't end up together then that means I won't ever end up with him either"

Eddie's heart felt like it had broken a little when he noticed just how much this had bothered the kid. He wanted this kid to be happy, not sad because he wasn't brave enough to do something. 

"If we make it out of here alive then I'll tell him" Eddie said 

The kid smiled "Really?" 

"Yeah, but that means you have to confess eventually too" 

"Okay, I can do that" 

"Alright, now let's go before the window closes on us"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry this update took so long. I've been busy but I hope you like this installment. The next Chapter will be "Viva La Vida" Can you guess which Loser is next?

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. That's chapter one. I hope you guys like it. Chapter 2 is in the works and should be our sometime this week. The next Chapter will be called "The Story" can you guess which Loser it's about?


End file.
